niets.

Foul Mood.

2008-09-14T14:05:00.002+08:00

I am tired, but didn't manage to sleep well.
I guess it was the lousy dreams I had):
Woke up with a pretty bad mood instead.
~~HAHA.~~
&Hey, if you want back that sponsorship, go ahead(:
Just talk to me about it! I'm good.
Went Zouk with the old friends (10 of us).
Was a pretty alright meet up session for Junwei & Jiahao I guess.
I didn't drink much, &when I'm not high I can't dance for nuts/:
But I must say Nique and Sherleen were pretty good company.
Not forgetting my best cousin Jolene Toh(:
HOHOHO!

Food, Eat, FAT!

2008-09-11T04:16:00.002+08:00

The boy keeps eating non-stop.
His eating habit can be pretty much compared to baby's drinking milk routine.
LOL! &Yes, he makes me grow fat.
):

The new job is going to start very soon, on the 15th this month/:

I would wonder why you wanna know?
Yet on the other hand, I think I know where you're coming from.
HAHA! I guess I must have been pretty successful in being the most no link person and the random one.
d: Anyway, she doesn't really care also what?
Look at the friendster. x:

lies

2008-09-05T04:59:00.002+08:00

A lie would be the last thing I want to know about.
I don't know about you, but to me it's difficult to lie.
When you come up with one lie, you need a thousand to match that lie.
I'm a person who rather tell the truth and face the consequences.
For at least I know this is going to be temporal.
And last but not least I am true to myself.

Haha, it's always easier said than done.
But I'm still going to hope that you'll be as truthful.

bye bye.

2008-08-25T16:05:00.002+08:00

Hey there, thank you for hearing me out last night.
Forcing me to say the things that were the burdens at heart.
Most importantly, I wanna thank you for being there(:

I don't know how long all these gonna last.
Yet I don't want to see this ending when I'm seriously into this.
I wish I could just heck everything and enjoy the times with you.
But I couldn't help and always got to find out things that would bring me down.
Right down shattered, &yes I'm fragile.
I can't figure out why I chose this agony path.
But I wish I had the courage to go.
&Yes, I'm selfish.

In such short time, so much of pain.
I'm weak, I don't know how much I can take.
But I'm hanging on because I really wanted you.

To be loved or to love?

2008-08-24T00:37:00.004+08:00

What a question to ask, but yet something to ponder on.
Would you rather be loved or to love?

I haven't really love someone in a long time.
But now I realised how painful it can be.

It is really difficult to be that magnanimous.
When I look into yer friendster, my heart just sank.

f*ck la.

2008-08-22T22:56:00.006+08:00

Whenever _ name appears wherever I just get affected.
Yes, I'm super in love.
Which I think is pretty bad.
That makes me super sensitive.
&Whenever I don't feel good, I always wanna push you away.
):I'm sorry.

WTSX - She's a super lousy shit!

(:

2008-08-19T18:05:00.002+08:00

I don't want to tell because I don't wanna affect.
&I don't wanna admit for being so not me.
/:I'm trying hard to be who I wanna be.

Drink, Drank, Drunk.

2008-08-19T17:24:00.002+08:00

The experince of getting drunk each time had been scarier.

I could remember vividly, two years back when I was with Jolene&Co at East Coast Beach counting down to year 2006 if I'm not wrong. That was the first time ever that I had myself drunk. &Yes, I vomited after drinking lots of absolut vodka. But thank God that Jolene was around and Jiahao who took care of me the whole night. HOHOHO! I slept on Jiahao's lap till the next morning. (Poor Jiahao /:)

Then with the phobia of getting drunk around, I didn't dared drink that much of alcohol again. Or rather I haven't been drinking too much of alcohol since then. &Then the second time came. I got drunk the very first day of this year at Jurong East Kbox with my sisters. Which wasn't that bad except for the part when I was pretty noisy in the cab.

&The third time was 3rd July, this year.

The forth time was 12th July, things happened. I went out of control): Woke up the next day asking Jolene all that had happened, I could remeber glimpses of stuffs but not all. The only thing I knew is that I puked a hell lot that day. &I told myself to never get drunk.

But here comes the fifth time, just one week ago on National Day. I went to join Jay&Co at the bar, as it felt pretty weird to be at home on National Day. /:Plus, I wanted to wait for the precious to end work anyway. The cab driver went to the wrong place and drove me back to my destination, during the trip, upon realising I caught a flu, he passed me the medicated oil(: So kind of him, and he charged me at a pretty low fare! We played dice and drank, I never planned to get drunk. But I went drunk/: This time round it was the scariest! The last thing I could remember was, I looked at my watch and it says 2:59am. &I was gone. I wasn't knocked out, but I couldn't remember anything that had happened for that past one hour plus before he came. /:Thinking back, it is really really bad. Thank God they were trustworhty people. I couldn't imagaine what would have happened if they were some other people.

I just don't wanna let such stuff happen again.
&Hopefully it won't happen again.

2 days more.

2008-08-19T17:02:00.003+08:00

No matter how discreetly things were done, I still had my ways to look at them. &Honestly, they affected me):

So what had I been doing lately?
LOL! I would say slack slack slack. ;p

Pretty lazy to blog what happened the past two weeks.
I would sum it up by saying I'm enjoying your company.
I am not those bloggers who could blog the days after it has past for quite sometime.
The thoughts of them would have just been gone.

Oh, not forgetting,
I LOVE MY FAMILY! :D

Curiousity Kills The Cat.

2008-08-19T16:45:00.004+08:00

Maybe I should be tied up in a box, you slit my wrist and let me bleed to death.

The presence of those stuffs are disturbing.
I could have chosen not to find out about them, yet once again I chose to make myself suffer.
All that thoughts are driving me nuts, I'm sorry for the moodswings.

As much as I don't want to show, I guess I've never succeeded.
Maybe if one day I could hide those feelings, I'll be pretty ultimate.

Loving you so much, makes me think a little too much.
As time passes by, my mind just work even harder.
Don't ask me why, 'cos even I don't know the cause.
Or prolly yes, it's the fear.

Take away these crazy thoughts, I just wanna put on the smile each day.
"I am happy when you're happy"
That's what I wanna achieve.

Thank you for everything.
You've been terrific!(:

20

2008-08-09T02:45:00.003+08:00

Have I ever said I wanted to be the special one?
I don't like to go through the same of what's done but try out new stuffs tgt.
(:The pain of missing you is unbearable!

17, 18, 19

2008-08-08T23:57:00.007+08:00

My thoughts went wild again.
I don't like reading what I just read.
&Yes, I know I can choose not to read.
But I chose to know the thoughts over how I would feel.
I can't be assured just by the words, and I am still not convinced by the actions.
Or maybe it is just me, not having any faith in this.
Slap me awake to reality, do I really want to start pinnin the hopes high?
How can I just treasure and enjoy what I have now?
&Not to think a tad bit about the bad side that might happen.
): But what would be the meaning of all this now then?
Oh my oh my.

Thank God the interview was a success.
I was really worried and had no confident about it.
/:The phobia of failing was there since my first group interview.
But I guess having to pass this, it did rebuild my confidence(:
The pressure for the interview was there, having to fail it will also be a great diappointment. Hence, the factors really did pushed me to try to do my best.
Well, I need to thank four people for the success :D

1. The very important precious someone who helped me with the liasing and accompanied me through out!
2. Wayne who finds us pretty annoying for bugging him all day long/:
3. Roy who helped me with the preparations of the interview(:
4. Liying with the financial part.

):Sorry Cally for the so-so celebration.

&I AM STILL SUPER RANDOM-ED.

15, 16

2008-08-05T02:16:00.007+08:00

(:Tell me he's super cute!

): ): ):
Don't know what will the outcome be for tmr.
I am just so not confident about it.
Wish me luck.

13, 14

2008-08-03T01:28:00.010+08:00

Spot my best ;p
I am so blessed.

The only outlet at Vivocity(: It's super good stuffs. MUST TRY!

Fancy bumping into Xueli at Tanjong Pagar (It's a small small world.)

&She found out some truth ytd. LOL!

HOHOHO! I got this free gift for buying cookie crisps(:
I love it I love it and I love it.

Currently feeling super tired/:
Guess the cause was the lack of sleep for consecutive number of days.
I am going to be super random in this post, one para won't link to the other.
Just gonna type all that were in my thoughts.

The standards before were high, pretty far away from me.
I don't know if I have what it takes to make you happy, to be the one you want me to.
They are prettier and definitely had treated you better.
I don't wanna compare but just wanna be me(:
Yet when I think about it, I feel more of a loser.

The truth is I am afraid of getting hurt.
I don't like to show the weak side of me, I don't wanna hold you back if you need to go.
For now, I look forward to witnessing the things you said come true.
Although I've been rejecting to pin the hopes, but I guess there are some faith around.
&I know for sure you're the one, hopefully everything turns out right.

Work has been pretty alright.
Just getting to know more and more about the management, which I find totally ridiculous sometimes.
My "head" is just super rigid, she ain't flexible for goodness sake):
I don't trust the staffs in the shop, I just feel that they are pretty fake.
&I am super unhappy with my schedule changed yet I don't think I can fight for what I want. BOO!
Mabel is my love at work!
Without her, working hours are going to be terrible/:

I've come to realise that the things I chose sometimes only make me suffer.
To me, having to know about your past would allow me to understand and know you better at another degree(:
Yet I will also feel uncomfortable about stuffs, and my mind would start to run wild.
I've been trying to suppress how I felt, I don't wanna be seen too sensitive or selfish.
Pardon me for being lousy, you're just too important.

):Goodnight.

9, 10, 11, 12

2008-08-01T01:45:00.001+08:00

This is Rene(:

8

2008-07-28T22:13:00.002+08:00

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy, when skies are gray,
you'll never know dear, how much I love you,
please don't take my sunshine away.

Things started off pretty well.
&I wish things will just be as good through it all(:
I am reminding myself each day to not take anything for granted.
You're IMPORTANT!
And I want to treasure every single moment, savour every happiness.

LOL! I fell in love with one of my customer today.
She is super nice and I love her assets. x:
The pieces that she chose to try on, just look fantastic on her.
(: She really could bring out the clothings well.
&I swear I thought she was only 30 years old the max.
But end up she's alr 40! :D
Super cool, she's an australian who works in Dubai for 5 years alr.
She teaches English in the university there.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS!

BAD NEWS!
I wanted to try on that Ted Baker tee today.
But but but there isn't my size anymore):
Hopefully pay will come by tmr, super broke alr.

Aye, I am super random-ed.

7

2008-07-27T00:21:00.005+08:00

AMWS! (Alice, Meihong, Weihun, Winnie, Shu Jun)
):I don't know whether I am still part of them.

Was thinking about how fragile love can be?
&What's the real definition of love?
I've realised it come and go as quickly as you want it to be.
The pain thereafter was just prolly caused by ~~guilt~~.
No one knows what would happen next, so don't promise.
The tighter you hold on, the more one might wanna let go.
If he/she is meant to be yours, no matter what, the person will just stay.

They are old enough, together for as long as 9 years.
But still because of the responsibilities and circumstances, their love were shaken.
There ain't good example around for me to look upon.
/:I guess humans just won't get contented with what they have.
Must someone always lose to learn how to treasure?
I seriously hope not.
Successful relationships seen are prolly at the rate of 1 out of 20?
It's that bad):
Seriously thinking about it, I ain't confident about this all the time.
Always looking at situations on a more pessimistic side, preparing for the worst.
Humans are selfish afterall, all they thought about first is prolly protecting themselves. I won't deny that I am just like one of them.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres."
This is the standard He had set for us.
But tell me, how many make these true?

Still, I want to believe we'll be happy together(:

6

2008-07-26T01:06:00.002+08:00

Idk, I don't feel good about everything.
The thoughts of all these are pushing me to go crazy!
Can I just press a button and my brain would shut down for the day?
Tell me what should I do?
):

Same Script, Different Cast by Whitney Houston

2008-07-26T00:14:00.002+08:00

"Same Script Different Cast"
(feat. Deborah Cox)

[SPOKEN]

[Whitney:] Um? Hey Deb.
[Deborah Cox:] Mmm hmm?
[WH:] Thank you for being woman enough to come.
[DC:] Whitney, what's this about?

[SUNG]

[WH:] I know he's leaving me for you.
[DC:] Who said that? Who told you that it's true?

[WH:]
What is he tellin' you?
Could it be the same things that he told me?

[DC:] He told me that he loved me.
[WH:] I heard that.
[DC:] He told me I was (harmony) beautiful. How did you know? How did you know?
[WH:] Because I played that scene before.

[CHORUS:]
This is a retake of my life.
I was his star for many nights.
Now the roles have changed,
And you're the leading lady in his life.
Lights, camera, now you're on.
Just remember you've been warned.
Enjoy it now, 'cause it won't last.
Same script, different cast.

[DC:]
What you're saying could be true.
But how can I take advice from you?

[WH:]
I'm not hating,
But I wish the one before me
Would have warned me too babe.

[DC:] Don't say no more. La La La La La La La La La
[WH:] Uncover your ears, girl.
[DC:] I'm not listening. La La La La La La La La La

[WH:]
But I know you hear me.
Maybe my reasons are wrong,
But I know that you believe me.

[CHORUS]

[DC] It's your fault you didn't love him enough.

[WH:]
That's the problem.
I loved him too much.
And when you love him

He becomes unattracted to you.

[DC:] Oh no, he's changed and I'll prove you wrong.
[WH:] No you won't.
[DC:] So go away. Leave us the hell alone! He loves me.
[WH:] He'll hurt you.
[DC:] He'll stay with me.
[WH:] He'll leave you.
[WH and DC:] For sure! For sure!

[CHORUS]

[DC:]
This is a retake of my life.
You were his star for many nights.
But now the roles have changed.
I'm the leading lady in his life.
Lights, camera, now you're on.
Just remember you've been warned.
Enjoy it now, 'cause this will last.
I'm the future, you're his past.

[WH:]
This is a retake of my life.
I was his star for many nights.
Now the roles have changed,
And you're the leading lady in his life.

[WH and DC:]
Lights, camera, now you're on.
Just remember you've been warned.

[WH:] Enjoy it now.
[DC:] Enjoy just now.
[WH:] It won't last.
[DC:] I know it will last.
[WH and DC:] Same script, different cast.

(:She shared this with me.

3, 4, 5

2008-07-25T23:21:00.012+08:00

Shall blog about today first(:

I'M SORRY.
Because of my rashness, I've hurt you.
I must admit I felt really insecure about stuffs.
But most importantly, I wanted what was best for you over mine.
Anyway, thank you for everything.
I was taken aback and felt really guilty yet relief.
Your reaction reassured my uncertainties(:
But but but still, I am very very very sorry.
I didn't mean to, know that you matter most.
Nothing like this shall happen again):

&Yes, Pearly walked past my shop today and I called out for her.
We had a good talk before her dinner.
LOL! After work, coincidentally I bumped into her at the train station!(:
&Of course that followed with more catching up session.
Woots, but no photos of her though):
She said she doesn't look good today.
Nvm, next time!

OMG, look at what's attractive there? x:
She asked me ta cover it with something.
But hmmm, to me, you have it, you can flaunt it(:

Ahha, she covered it now/:

She says I look drunk):

:D I bumped into yan yee mun ytd!
We had a good talk, I love this kind of catching up.
Shall see her soon!

2

2008-07-22T22:12:00.009+08:00

Today, The Mr Late.

Yesterday, The Mr Tired.

He is Desmond Chua. (: Dumb dumb was late for dinner, caused me to not be able to go break after 6pm. All his fault! Punished him by using his phone to call Shen Jing. In the end, everything backfired. ):
Now he knows, then keep disturbing. Still dare to call me princess. KNS!

Lesson learnt today, never leave house without having fully charged battery. ):

Ahs, I really want to go on holiday!
Sians, when I asked my in-charge the other time, she gave me the wrong information.
Stupid false hopes. /:
Wanted to go Redang then KL, from 13th to 18th of October.
But but but, I guess my dreams will be shattered because of the full time job.

Idk le, the thought about it makes me frustrated.
I don't like uncertainties.
My day is spoilt. )):

1

2008-07-22T01:58:00.003+08:00

21st July 2008 is loved.

Everything shall start afresh(:
I want to be better.

To update everyone, I'm currently working in GG<5 at Vivo's outlet.
Working hours are like "office hours" but in retail context/:
Monday to Friday: 12pm to 9pm
Saturday: 12pm to 5pm
Sunday & PH: REST DAY! :D
*But there might be changes of timings sometimes):
**Do not find me during work, can't talk much)): But of course if you guys are ard, do drop by and say hi(:

Life has been good!
Most of the stuffs are pretty much in place.
&I'm happy.
Had been catching up with lots of friends and still looking forward for more!

((:That's all for now. ;p